46 days

44 days more to our Long Vacation. We been thru lots of ups and downs while planning for this trip. I'm feeling very tired. I do look forward to the trip..but on the other hand...Very Very stress. I always feels that, no matter how rough the road is....I'll still move on coz, you are with me. 陪我走過如坐過山車一般的日子...

I know you are a kind person. But, I do hope that you will spare a thought for my feelings. I know you loves me alot..... alot....

Perhaps its my problem. I cannot accept that my partner..treats someone else so good. I don't mind if you give her a treat or 2... or helps a LITTLE if she really needs help. but, what you are doing is too over. Your facial expressions...your joy shows me how happy you are when you managed to talk her out to travel with us. Next, when you can't get air ticket for her..the looks on your face cheated on you. It shows us...how eager you wans to get her tickets and how worried you are. You said that I always have funny thoughts on my mind and too sensitive. So I tried to push all those funny thoughts away...but again & again your actions & words shows me that ... you do like her. Frens came telling me how they feels ...& how protective your are towards her.

I know you will deny. Well, I'm not a kid. I have feelings too.

Our 30th

Its our 30th month. How time really flies. Tami says that she will come home and cook tomorrow after work. Heeeheeeee ...I will be looking forward to it tami.

Received a message this afternoon. A very simple greetings "Happy Halloween!" from a not simple person. I'm really very very shocked to see her message. Thank you, our 大慈善家...you made my day.

Another boring sunday..

We planned to go shopping for shoes..for your sister's wedding. I suggested that we go earlier and come home earlier, coz tomorrow is working day. You said, you need to rest first... perhaps we leave the house at 3pm. OK..fine. after that you kept repeating why dun we shop later in the week..on a week days coz, you are too tired to leave the hse on a Sunday afternoon.
Well, for me..I always want to get my things DONE before hand & this is the last weekend to your sis wedding...and we are having a busy week ahead..dinner appt tomorrow, doing your hair on tues..blah blah blah... BUT, well its not me going to the wedding..not me who need to shop. 皇帝不及﹐ 太監及。。。 why should I??
I wanted to go shopping with you, you get yr shoes...spend more time shopping with you on a sunday rather than rushing everywhere on weekdays. Well, why should I be soo gan cheong..if you dun even bother?

At 3.30pm you dozed off.

The Sun is shinning really good...4pm I started the washing machine ..

Its ANOTHER boring Sunday...

the moment..

Actually I'm really very very Very happy today. Received a sms from TM in the afternoon. She said that she had made plans for dinner & she wants to date me. I looking very much to it. She booked a room for K-buffet at K Box. We had fun singing ....and had a fun dinner with lots of sashim, ice cream...sushi, tim sum blah blah...blah

9.30pm we made our way home ...taking train and having fun chatting.

The moment we reached home. You said you are tired and sat there on the sofa reading papers & letters. After that you took a nap & again doze off. I waked you up to shower. After a shower then u can sleep all u like...isn't it better & more comfortable? I really don't understand WHY???
Then u slammed the bathroom door & ....slience.....

Why?? Wat happened again? What happened to us? Whenever we are alone at home...we sure to start a fight. Why?

Perhaps..it's time I should really move out.

我们的二十九

People says that nine is a good no... 長長九九.

Yes, October 2nd is our 29th month.

How time flies.

homeless

Whenever your dad or sisters call you, my heart jumped. Well, again... today yr sis called you. Infront of Su, You said that your sister is coming over for 4 days next week. I got the hint. Now I must make plans for myself, shift back home & plans my stories all over again....You always said that I doesn't treat this place as my home. Well, how to treat this place as my home if I need to shift around like an unwanted rat. I know what I should do. I know where I stand.

Abt 10 years ago..in my first job. I clashed with my assistant manager on some disagreements in work. I hate the sight of him. He is an impossible, horrible guy. Everyone in my office knew that I hated him. And of coz, he doesn't like me either.
One day, my site manager came to me...He told me: you are still young & green. You still have 2 years contract with us. Why make yourself so unhappy?? No matter what, you must always remember "Where you Stand??" He is Asst manager. What would you gain in going against him??

Till today, these words still kept in my mind. Whenever im unhappy at work. Whenever I had disagreement with my bosses, I told myself...always REMEMBER where you stand.

The missing piece...

Had dinner with mum. Reached home at abt 9.30pm. You are not back yet. I had my shower & made myself a cup of Flower Tea. You came home at around 10pm. You made yourself a bowl of noodles. I asked if you want to watch dvd with me..you said NO.. you are not in the mood. Well, when will you have to mood to watch the stuffs I like?? I expected that answer..but somehow, I still feel upset. As usual you stay in the Hall watching TV, had yr mee & read newspaper. Me, in the room watch my TV & surf net.

After a while, I went out to give u a hug. Well, yah....you came into the room "still with a black face.." lay on the bed & well....expected you doze off. Sometimes, I felt that I'm so foolish.

Yes, that's our life. Do you feel bored? Yes I do. Something is missing..we are still together because of?? Love?? Because we are too used to each other... well, perhaps. Love is just like a puzzle. If there's a missing piece, that's it..... It will never be complete.

Sometimes stopping is the most important part of the journey...

Searching.....

Had a terrible day...

I'm really very happy that you are on leave today..but my happiness dies off right after our breakfast. You went in to the room and start working on yr PC...and u actually blame me for surfing in the hall instead of spending time surfing in the room with you.

So what if i'm in the room? Looking at you smashing the mouse & banging the desk...you think I dare to go near you?

Its hurts, when you said that you will not apply leave to accompany me in future anymore.

Yes, I know you tried to make me happy by bringing me to eat good food & bringing me for movie....but, do you know what really matters to me??

I really missed the days ..we used to spent time at home watching TV together, going for travel fair, Zoo..or anywhere...really spending time together WITHOUT the PC or laptop around.

Something is missing in our r/s...

You asked me what am I searching for..????

I'm searching for the missing piece....happiness...

忽冷忽熱的對待
眼看愛(就像牛奶)　在變酸　慢慢變壞
難道你不明白　有一些傷害　會看不出來

多謝關心

Thanks for your concern my dear friend.

No matter what, I still have to go thru it myself. No matter how much she care, how much she dotes on me.... I still have to stand up & walk on myself.

helpless

Had been feeling very down lately... very helpless...

Last friday, I was really very unhappy. At that moment I realised that I'm all alone & have no one to speak to.... Had a rather unhappy weekend. A stressful Saturday and a restless Sunday. I felt that my life is in a total mess.

Spoke to AH Fi this morning. At my tone of voice, she can feel that something is wrong with me. We had a good talk.

thanks for your time my great frd. Thank you.

Forever

I never believe in Forever Loving someone. Do you???

容祖兒 牛奶

牛奶

餐桌有點歪　玻璃杯倒了下來
一行像眼淚的牛奶
大門已被甩開　說出了的再收不回來
補回來　裂痕還在

真不想被說中　沒有一對會不同
面貼面擁抱也會心虛得發痛
愛冷了　要怎樣解凍

如果還不夠愛　怎會被傷害
忽冷忽熱的對待
眼看愛(就像牛奶)　在變酸　慢慢變壞
難道你不明白　有一些傷害　會看不出來
記得你的好　孤獨反而實在
變味的愛　沒辦法再掩蓋

越是得不到的一份愛
越難說服我自己放開　捨不得愛現在
我應該　怎麼樣向自己　來交代　這種失敗

怎麼忍受這腐壞　變味的愛

Our 27th...

Today is 2nd August.. our 27 months.

Met up for dinner at Rice Table.. bought a pair of Liverpool pants as present...well, from the moment we met..you told me you are very tired.

We had dinner, went to change your pants (you looks like you dun really like the pants)& went Kovan for Beancurd.

We came home at around 9.30pm...I went to shower..& when I came out!!! you are asleep on the bed...its 9.55pm. I dragged you out of bed to shower...but you screamed at me. I left u alone..to sleep...while I surf & watch TV..myself.

At last 11.50pm..I managed to drag you up to shower.. I thought you will be more awake after the bath. After your shower....I happily ran in to the room............You are asleep again.

I looked at you... asking myself, how many words we spoke to each other since we came home?? Do you know that I have alot of things to tell you. Sometimes.. you just want to tell that person something at that moment... when tomorrow comes.. I might not feel like talking about it anymore. Thats why we have so much communication problems... When we are at home, its either you working on the PC...or watching TV your sports channels.. or asleep.

We bought the 2 beancurd...what you want me to do with it?? Tomorrow movie tickets.. you havent even book..& you told the whole world that you will book it.??? Sometimes I think I communicate with a frd even more than you.

Sian

Very sian... VeryVery Very Sian....

ONly me

Sometimes I wonder..what gone wrong?? Do u really hate me so much?

Do u hate my face?? What have I done?? We are suppose to be looking forward to tomorrow's short trip...but, u just puLL a long face at me.. and yes.. ONLY me. When u see others later... u will Beam from Ear to ear...What's wrong with me?

What's wrong?? Only Me will see this side of you.

Yes.. ONLY me.

Happy Birthday Tami...

Its Tami's 36th birthday. After months of plannings, arguements and discussions, now is over....& can close the curtains liao. I don't know if Tami enjoyed herself?? I don't know if she really likes the presents I gave her.

Perhaps you may think, wHy must so stress?? Birthday only mah? Well, Firstly.. I'm very easily stress that kind...& Tami have been giving me presents all year round so..I wans to make her happy on her birthday.

THanks Tami for making everyday like my bday....and Happy Birthday Tami.

小小

作曲：周傑倫
作詞：方文山
編曲：林邁可
監制：Michael Lin

＃回憶像個說書的人
用充滿鄉音的口吻
跳過水坑 繞過小村
等相遇的緣分
你用泥巴捏一座城
說将來要娶我進門
轉多少身 過幾次門 虛擲青春＃

小小的誓言還不穩
小小的淚水還在撐
稚嫩的唇　在說離分

＊我的心裏從此住了一個人
曾經模樣小小的我們
那年你搬小小的板凳
爲戲入迷我也一路跟

我在找那個故事裏的人
你是不能缺少的部份
你在樹下小小的打盹
小小的我傻傻等＊

重複　＃

小小的感動雨紛紛
小小的别扭惹人疼
小小的人還不會吻

重複　＊

我的心裏從此住了一個人
曾經模樣小小的我們
當初學人說愛念劇本
缺牙的你發音卻不準

我在找那個故事裏的人
你是不能缺少的部份
小小的手牽小小的人
守著小小的永恒

Happy Birthday dear classmate..

Its my classmate birthday. Wishing you all the best, in your work and relationship. Stay Happy & pretty always.

2nd Year Anniversary...

Its our 2nd Year. May 2nd is our big big day. We had late dinner at sushi Tei. Tami says that we have to have dinner at that sushi Tei every year coz, thats where we started 2 years ago.... Tami bought me a Bag, a Watch and a Cap fm genting.. heeehehhee

I bought her a Photo Wallet and a adidas Lanyard ..Hope she like it..

A New Chapter...a new beginning

Had been sometime since I last blog. Well, I got the job.. sign my appointment letter and yes.. A New beginning. I'm happy and at the same time, worried... I'm worried that this is just sunshine before storm. Life haven't been smooth for me last year.. my life is in a total mess. How can I convince myself that I got this job... a job that I hve been searching for .. the work scope and all is just what I have been looking for all these years.

I know its time I shd move on...I hope that this is really a new chapter in my life. I do not wish to go thru all that again.

A Happy heart

Had a chat with classmate. A heart to heart chat. Had been sometime since we last chat so seriously. We often crack silly jokes & gossip almost every night...but, tonight we had a very Serious chat. Classmate feels that I'm not happy. My heart is not happy...although I dun show out to them...but she said dat she can see that I'm not at all happy coz, I'm not myself anymore.

I have been thinking alot since we ended our conversation. I must know what I want..I envy very brother. He is really doing what he likes...he enjoy & know what he wants.

Classmate told me that I must do something for myself. Bring back the real me & as well as the happy heart of mine.

愛情萬歲

yawn.... Everything is back to routine again... TM is back to work & me still busy searching N floating in the big sea..

愛情萬歲
曲：劉祖德 詞：林若寧
編/監：蔡德才@人山人海

愛情存在輿論性
承受這批鬥與你笑著革命
市內全民皆兵 聽著流言之聲
我若能擁抱你已是險勝

受盡炮轟任由戀愛沒有世界共鳴
維持著愛護與尊敬
未怕沒有親友贈興

寧願犧牲也與你以愛捐軀
從歷史中見證這轟烈一對
愛到倒下去 浮沉是非中一對伴侶
謠言裏 人潮裏
尋求我幸福至少無罪
那怕走得再崎嶇
言論之中去見證愛情萬歲
未似對正常情侶
你我縱是殘餘弱旅 頑抗愛下去

愛情長路如絕嶺
無論傷口再中箭也未怨命
世上如何孤清 對望仍然溫馨
都不可封殺戀之風景

彼此不必世界的嘉許
只想講生命至少也許
每人亦有最珍惜伴侶
旁觀的怎麼拼命插嘴 潑下冷水

寧願犧牲也與你以愛捐軀
流下這可歌可泣動人眼淚
滲進沙漠裏 懸崖上開花一對伴侶
曾難過 曾憔悴
尋求我幸福更加無懼
愛侶不需要心虛
承受子彈去愛你也是壯舉
若有了我們兒女
與你故事遺傳下去 能愛到萬歲

Little Zinny

Went for an interview today....I Talk so much more than the 3 interviewer..Heeehheee Next, we went to do something very nice..heee we adopted a little one by the name of zin zin...heeeeee she is cute actually abit like me...the face I mean. Actually, I wanted that child more for myself than the club....hmmmm...TM said that we shall go and adopt one ourself when I got a job..heeeee a little cute one just like me...

Had a little fireworks with my classmate....but, soon everything cools off.. I hope we will not argue or fight anymore....children like us shouldnt fight ...heeehehe
I wonder if classmate still read my blog??

MArch 10

My laybin is going china with the whole family tomorrow, march 10...including my little baby brother. wishing them a nice, fun safe trip... Now, I'm at classmate house..they are playing mahjong & as usual I have nothing much to do ...

Not very happy this afternoon, I cried & cry & cry....it really hurts very very much. I wanted to give up, give up all that I have put in all these years.
Later in the afternoon, I received a phone call follow up with an email..I got an interview next week... it made my day.

little ones drawer

Tami bought little one a new drawer today. It will be shared among my classmate, bestfrd & me ... We had a fun time shopping at Ikea...Can someone please tell them that their transport charges are toooooooo steep. My drawer cost $99 & got to spend another $40 for transport....I nearly wanted to cry....but, its really a bit too heavy for tiny ones like us..


We took a shuttle bus to TM...planned to go Orchard to get gifts for my dearest classmate & bf...but, its already 8.45pm & silly shooting a cab to orchard just to get gift loh..we ended up shopping in TM instead.. Its a rather strange New unfamiliar place...heheeeeeee we shd go TM more often...

Looking forward to meet classmate & bf again tomorrow..

Good nite

My true frd is classmate...

We can talk the sky down....everything under the sun. THere are time when we had little hippcus once in 20 years....but, you are still my most beloved classmate. muah muah .....

A boring short trip

Its a super short trip... b4 that, i'm still thinking why so rush?? Batam 2D1N....imagine, that 2 day 1 nite also nearly bored us to crazy....we nearly go MAD. We have got nothing better to do...its so boring no ent..at all. Yes, they do have a pool table, but they lost the keys to the pool balls.....this is really impossible.

傷神

可惜你分了神　不想我再貼身.. 愛很傷神　怕沒有心再去蜜運.

Today is my Lunar Birthday. We had a really big fight..2 of us ending up with tears. Yes, I always repeated this to Pipi...in a r/s, where one doesn't give way anymore means its coming to the end...& if neither side bother to give way means the end. I would say that, I have not changed a single bit... I am still who i am, this is me since we started 22 months ago. Its you who doesn't give way anymore. As I always like to quote, in broken r/s no one is in the wrong.. its just feelings had changed. You dun give way like what you used to anymore...I dun blame you, as this is life..

We had a very very slient nite... a slient Cab ride, a slient Bus ride & a slient dinner. Now, you are in the kitchen working on your work stuffs & me in the room alone...we are drifting apart. ...... ....................

How many more months, weeks, days to go????

發啊﹗﹗﹗

We had our CNY gathering today. Had dinner at the KoPi shop ..& came back to Tami's place for more fun.. PLay poker cards, watched video & had fun laffing & drinking..hahahha Glad to know 2 new funny little frds..they are fun. The party ends at around 1 plus...& one by one started leaving. Now then we finished sending the last party home.. had our shower & tami is lying on the bed ...snoring liao... The word that we mentioned most throughout the nite is 發啊﹗﹗﹗...Hhahaa

Goodbye Doggy

Very soon, lets put our hands together to welcome the arrival of the Golden Pig. I'm Very Very happy that at last its time to send the dog away. Everyone says that the coming will be a great ...I mean at least a better year for the little dragon. Not only in career, but in love & luck as well...heee heee heard that the Fire dragon next year will be in a Very extreme tao hua luck.. hahahhahahahh

I'm at home now... everyone busy mopping, sweeping, cleaning, dusting, packing...except me. I have been talking all day with my laybin till she asked me not to bother her....coz, she got lots of things to do. then, I went to watch dvd...till I fell asleep....heee
Had dinner at Owen Seafood Rest. Wow.... yuckys veg & crab. Inside the Hao shi got some green green thing ..yeeee..yucks... the best is the Mee & the dessert.

In less than 2 hrs.... welcome to a brand New Year..... yoohoooooo

Reunion

We had our reunion dinner today at Uncle Zhong house. Rather a tiny little house. I was sweating like crazy..coz, the house is so pack & cramp. Imagine, a 1 room flat cramp with 30 over pp.....cramp until we had problem eating.

I had a quick dinner & left the dinner table. Won $3 in blackjack...hehhehee Well, a good start..hhahahah

We had a plants, flower shopping spree at Far East Flora. Laybin bought, a pot of rose & Tao hua. Luckily, I dun need to carry back for her.. hahhahah after the plants shopping, I say bye.. to laybin & gu ma...& headed to Vivo city to shop shop... hehehehee ..the Only chance for me to grab tami's Valentine gift..Hhahaha

Bought 2 hotdogs & 7 tao sa pia & head home. Watch dvd, and went online to search for the sheepy & piggy....haiz. We shd have got it in HK loh. Now got $$ also not easy to get it...

Good nite.

Birthday presents

This year, I received 2 mobile phones & 2 watches hahahhah. I love my 2 phones & Love the 2 chip & dale watches too... especially the one from my best frd & classmate.

At first, I Was a little sad that classmate can't join us for dinner actually...but, I know if she can make it... she sure will turn up. she must be very very sick...but, was glad that my best frd mickey made it for dinner. The night would not be the same without you.

My phones... well, never imagine that I will receive TWO hp for my bday. Hahahah I know, tami went thru a hard time hopping around for the 2 little phones... I love it. The phones, the tee shirts, a special ezlink card, PMK membercard, a CC "hehhheeee", a pair of jeans & 2 tops, a birthday cake as well as a card....did I miss out anything?? Muakie tami...

Fatz was right.... I will have a stressful July.

How old are you??

Yes, I'm officially a year older. A step nearer to the mid 30s....Imagine..Please imagine..30s...I never ever tot that one day I will be in my 30s. Its was just like yesterday when I celebrated my sweet 17 birthday.

Tami brought me out for a Tim Sum breakfast yesterday, we had movie at the cathay & dinner at Coca. Was suppose to be a great dinner until laybin called. Tami gave me a phone & 2 little tee shirts as pre birthday gifts. Hehhehehee thanks to little tami.

Today, we will be meeting the Pilon gang for dinner. I wonder, how is the food like....

I suddenly remember Chob asked: How old are you..?? I regetted for not asking her why???

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to me...

hocc we stand as One

19th January 2007, off we fly to HK for hocc part 2 concert. Had a quick dinner at Maxim, met spp for the concert tixs & rushed off for the concert. I saw, that PL. Rather hard not to notice her actually. She was busy chatting away with a h20.. Talking abt h20..well, 90% of the fans are all h20s. haha....

20th January 2007, 2nd night of hocc concert. Well, cho did not attend. Most of time during the concert, we are looking at the Panel instead of the stage. It was a great concert... but, still not as high as cho's concert. At least for me & tami....the fans are rather high, but... not right for me. Something is just missing..... different fm watching cho's concerts...
After the show, I actually bump into PL...face to face. What will be will be, no matter how you avoid.. everything lies with fate. Well, we say Hi... and entertain each other by chatting some silly stuffs.. poor little tami standing behind me like a little one.

Hong Kong 2007

In less than 24 hrs, we will be in Hong Kong. Tami was very late for work this morning...she woke up very late. I woke up very early. We both woke up at 8am. She was late for a meeting...a very important meeting with the director at 8am. I woke up at 8am...broke record...From the time she step out of the house, I know she will be very moody the entire day.

Well, I Called origin, washed tami jeans (although I know is a big risk...coz, it might not be dry by tomorrow morning.....but, tami mention that she will feel more comfortable if the new jeans are pre-wash b4 wearing..) Washed tami jeans & hung out to the sun...2nd round, our bedsheets, 3rd round more bedsheets...phew..
Next, I clean & mop the floor with the sheets I bought with fatfat yesterday....phew, after mopping...I sweat like a PIG.

Tami called...we had an arguement...I know, I told myself to bear with it...coz, I know she would be in a rather bad mood..@#$%@%@#$

Long time No blog....

Almost 3 weeks since I last blog. Rather busy preparing our little trips. 2 More days to our HK trip & soon after HK will be our KL stressful trip. 2 more days to our trip to HK... shd be a fun thing to look forward to...but, we had fights almost every night. I know, Tami is very very stress over the KL trip.... planning like a travel agent. We must take care of 18 persons...and the whole CM Board is like a useless bunch of monkeys. Alright talk about some happy stuffs...... over the past few weeks..... L Word S4 is back... Hoo hoooo How time flies, just like yesterday... I told Pilon, Hey...you must wait 1 year for the next season loh..... and now its already 2007.

Another Good news is Joey won 最受歡迎女歌星 四連霸.. yeah yeah yeah.....Frankly, it might be her last year for winning the award.

Happy New Year

Its 2007, Happy New Year.. we had our little countdown at our place... with Choya, yucks cocktail drinks & Mint baileys....simple & cool..its just spending the brand New Year with your love ones....Tami, Classmate & best frd...

We booked our HK trip.... we are GOing to disney HK again...this JANUARY...wow...wow..... Looking forward to Jan 19th.....yeah.............................. I know eveything will be wonderful in 2007.