helpless

Had been feeling very down lately... very helpless...

Last friday, I was really very unhappy. At that moment I realised that I'm all alone & have no one to speak to.... Had a rather unhappy weekend. A stressful Saturday and a restless Sunday. I felt that my life is in a total mess.

Spoke to AH Fi this morning. At my tone of voice, she can feel that something is wrong with me. We had a good talk.

thanks for your time my great frd. Thank you.

Forever

I never believe in Forever Loving someone. Do you???

容祖兒 牛奶

牛奶

餐桌有點歪　玻璃杯倒了下來
一行像眼淚的牛奶
大門已被甩開　說出了的再收不回來
補回來　裂痕還在

真不想被說中　沒有一對會不同
面貼面擁抱也會心虛得發痛
愛冷了　要怎樣解凍

如果還不夠愛　怎會被傷害
忽冷忽熱的對待
眼看愛(就像牛奶)　在變酸　慢慢變壞
難道你不明白　有一些傷害　會看不出來
記得你的好　孤獨反而實在
變味的愛　沒辦法再掩蓋

越是得不到的一份愛
越難說服我自己放開　捨不得愛現在
我應該　怎麼樣向自己　來交代　這種失敗

怎麼忍受這腐壞　變味的愛

Our 27th...

Today is 2nd August.. our 27 months.

Met up for dinner at Rice Table.. bought a pair of Liverpool pants as present...well, from the moment we met..you told me you are very tired.

We had dinner, went to change your pants (you looks like you dun really like the pants)& went Kovan for Beancurd.

We came home at around 9.30pm...I went to shower..& when I came out!!! you are asleep on the bed...its 9.55pm. I dragged you out of bed to shower...but you screamed at me. I left u alone..to sleep...while I surf & watch TV..myself.

At last 11.50pm..I managed to drag you up to shower.. I thought you will be more awake after the bath. After your shower....I happily ran in to the room............You are asleep again.

I looked at you... asking myself, how many words we spoke to each other since we came home?? Do you know that I have alot of things to tell you. Sometimes.. you just want to tell that person something at that moment... when tomorrow comes.. I might not feel like talking about it anymore. Thats why we have so much communication problems... When we are at home, its either you working on the PC...or watching TV your sports channels.. or asleep.

We bought the 2 beancurd...what you want me to do with it?? Tomorrow movie tickets.. you havent even book..& you told the whole world that you will book it.??? Sometimes I think I communicate with a frd even more than you.

Sian

Very sian... VeryVery Very Sian....

ONly me

Sometimes I wonder..what gone wrong?? Do u really hate me so much?

Do u hate my face?? What have I done?? We are suppose to be looking forward to tomorrow's short trip...but, u just puLL a long face at me.. and yes.. ONLY me. When u see others later... u will Beam from Ear to ear...What's wrong with me?

What's wrong?? Only Me will see this side of you.

Yes.. ONLY me.

Happy Birthday Tami...

Its Tami's 36th birthday. After months of plannings, arguements and discussions, now is over....& can close the curtains liao. I don't know if Tami enjoyed herself?? I don't know if she really likes the presents I gave her.

Perhaps you may think, wHy must so stress?? Birthday only mah? Well, Firstly.. I'm very easily stress that kind...& Tami have been giving me presents all year round so..I wans to make her happy on her birthday.

THanks Tami for making everyday like my bday....and Happy Birthday Tami.

小小

作曲：周傑倫
作詞：方文山
編曲：林邁可
監制：Michael Lin

＃回憶像個說書的人
用充滿鄉音的口吻
跳過水坑 繞過小村
等相遇的緣分
你用泥巴捏一座城
說将來要娶我進門
轉多少身 過幾次門 虛擲青春＃

小小的誓言還不穩
小小的淚水還在撐
稚嫩的唇　在說離分

＊我的心裏從此住了一個人
曾經模樣小小的我們
那年你搬小小的板凳
爲戲入迷我也一路跟

我在找那個故事裏的人
你是不能缺少的部份
你在樹下小小的打盹
小小的我傻傻等＊

重複　＃

小小的感動雨紛紛
小小的别扭惹人疼
小小的人還不會吻

重複　＊

我的心裏從此住了一個人
曾經模樣小小的我們
當初學人說愛念劇本
缺牙的你發音卻不準

我在找那個故事裏的人
你是不能缺少的部份
小小的手牽小小的人
守著小小的永恒

Happy Birthday dear classmate..

Its my classmate birthday. Wishing you all the best, in your work and relationship. Stay Happy & pretty always.

2nd Year Anniversary...

Its our 2nd Year. May 2nd is our big big day. We had late dinner at sushi Tei. Tami says that we have to have dinner at that sushi Tei every year coz, thats where we started 2 years ago.... Tami bought me a Bag, a Watch and a Cap fm genting.. heeehehhee

I bought her a Photo Wallet and a adidas Lanyard ..Hope she like it..

A New Chapter...a new beginning

Had been sometime since I last blog. Well, I got the job.. sign my appointment letter and yes.. A New beginning. I'm happy and at the same time, worried... I'm worried that this is just sunshine before storm. Life haven't been smooth for me last year.. my life is in a total mess. How can I convince myself that I got this job... a job that I hve been searching for .. the work scope and all is just what I have been looking for all these years.

I know its time I shd move on...I hope that this is really a new chapter in my life. I do not wish to go thru all that again.

A Happy heart

Had a chat with classmate. A heart to heart chat. Had been sometime since we last chat so seriously. We often crack silly jokes & gossip almost every night...but, tonight we had a very Serious chat. Classmate feels that I'm not happy. My heart is not happy...although I dun show out to them...but she said dat she can see that I'm not at all happy coz, I'm not myself anymore.

I have been thinking alot since we ended our conversation. I must know what I want..I envy very brother. He is really doing what he likes...he enjoy & know what he wants.

Classmate told me that I must do something for myself. Bring back the real me & as well as the happy heart of mine.

愛情萬歲

yawn.... Everything is back to routine again... TM is back to work & me still busy searching N floating in the big sea..

愛情萬歲
曲：劉祖德 詞：林若寧
編/監：蔡德才@人山人海

愛情存在輿論性
承受這批鬥與你笑著革命
市內全民皆兵 聽著流言之聲
我若能擁抱你已是險勝

受盡炮轟任由戀愛沒有世界共鳴
維持著愛護與尊敬
未怕沒有親友贈興

寧願犧牲也與你以愛捐軀
從歷史中見證這轟烈一對
愛到倒下去 浮沉是非中一對伴侶
謠言裏 人潮裏
尋求我幸福至少無罪
那怕走得再崎嶇
言論之中去見證愛情萬歲
未似對正常情侶
你我縱是殘餘弱旅 頑抗愛下去

愛情長路如絕嶺
無論傷口再中箭也未怨命
世上如何孤清 對望仍然溫馨
都不可封殺戀之風景

彼此不必世界的嘉許
只想講生命至少也許
每人亦有最珍惜伴侶
旁觀的怎麼拼命插嘴 潑下冷水

寧願犧牲也與你以愛捐軀
流下這可歌可泣動人眼淚
滲進沙漠裏 懸崖上開花一對伴侶
曾難過 曾憔悴
尋求我幸福更加無懼
愛侶不需要心虛
承受子彈去愛你也是壯舉
若有了我們兒女
與你故事遺傳下去 能愛到萬歲

Little Zinny

Went for an interview today....I Talk so much more than the 3 interviewer..Heeehheee Next, we went to do something very nice..heee we adopted a little one by the name of zin zin...heeeeee she is cute actually abit like me...the face I mean. Actually, I wanted that child more for myself than the club....hmmmm...TM said that we shall go and adopt one ourself when I got a job..heeeee a little cute one just like me...

Had a little fireworks with my classmate....but, soon everything cools off.. I hope we will not argue or fight anymore....children like us shouldnt fight ...heeehehe
I wonder if classmate still read my blog??

MArch 10

My laybin is going china with the whole family tomorrow, march 10...including my little baby brother. wishing them a nice, fun safe trip... Now, I'm at classmate house..they are playing mahjong & as usual I have nothing much to do ...

Not very happy this afternoon, I cried & cry & cry....it really hurts very very much. I wanted to give up, give up all that I have put in all these years.
Later in the afternoon, I received a phone call follow up with an email..I got an interview next week... it made my day.

little ones drawer

Tami bought little one a new drawer today. It will be shared among my classmate, bestfrd & me ... We had a fun time shopping at Ikea...Can someone please tell them that their transport charges are toooooooo steep. My drawer cost $99 & got to spend another $40 for transport....I nearly wanted to cry....but, its really a bit too heavy for tiny ones like us..


We took a shuttle bus to TM...planned to go Orchard to get gifts for my dearest classmate & bf...but, its already 8.45pm & silly shooting a cab to orchard just to get gift loh..we ended up shopping in TM instead.. Its a rather strange New unfamiliar place...heheeeeeee we shd go TM more often...

Looking forward to meet classmate & bf again tomorrow..

Good nite

My true frd is classmate...

We can talk the sky down....everything under the sun. THere are time when we had little hippcus once in 20 years....but, you are still my most beloved classmate. muah muah .....

A boring short trip

Its a super short trip... b4 that, i'm still thinking why so rush?? Batam 2D1N....imagine, that 2 day 1 nite also nearly bored us to crazy....we nearly go MAD. We have got nothing better to do...its so boring no ent..at all. Yes, they do have a pool table, but they lost the keys to the pool balls.....this is really impossible.

傷神

可惜你分了神　不想我再貼身.. 愛很傷神　怕沒有心再去蜜運.

Today is my Lunar Birthday. We had a really big fight..2 of us ending up with tears. Yes, I always repeated this to Pipi...in a r/s, where one doesn't give way anymore means its coming to the end...& if neither side bother to give way means the end. I would say that, I have not changed a single bit... I am still who i am, this is me since we started 22 months ago. Its you who doesn't give way anymore. As I always like to quote, in broken r/s no one is in the wrong.. its just feelings had changed. You dun give way like what you used to anymore...I dun blame you, as this is life..

We had a very very slient nite... a slient Cab ride, a slient Bus ride & a slient dinner. Now, you are in the kitchen working on your work stuffs & me in the room alone...we are drifting apart. ...... ....................

How many more months, weeks, days to go????