46 days

44 days more to our Long Vacation. We been thru lots of ups and downs while planning for this trip. I'm feeling very tired. I do look forward to the trip..but on the other hand...Very Very stress. I always feels that, no matter how rough the road is....I'll still move on coz, you are with me. 陪我走過如坐過山車一般的日子...

I know you are a kind person. But, I do hope that you will spare a thought for my feelings. I know you loves me alot..... alot....

Perhaps its my problem. I cannot accept that my partner..treats someone else so good. I don't mind if you give her a treat or 2... or helps a LITTLE if she really needs help. but, what you are doing is too over. Your facial expressions...your joy shows me how happy you are when you managed to talk her out to travel with us. Next, when you can't get air ticket for her..the looks on your face cheated on you. It shows us...how eager you wans to get her tickets and how worried you are. You said that I always have funny thoughts on my mind and too sensitive. So I tried to push all those funny thoughts away...but again & again your actions & words shows me that ... you do like her. Frens came telling me how they feels ...& how protective your are towards her.

I know you will deny. Well, I'm not a kid. I have feelings too.

Our 30th

Its our 30th month. How time really flies. Tami says that she will come home and cook tomorrow after work. Heeeheeeee ...I will be looking forward to it tami.

Received a message this afternoon. A very simple greetings "Happy Halloween!" from a not simple person. I'm really very very shocked to see her message. Thank you, our 大慈善家...you made my day.

Another boring sunday..

We planned to go shopping for shoes..for your sister's wedding. I suggested that we go earlier and come home earlier, coz tomorrow is working day. You said, you need to rest first... perhaps we leave the house at 3pm. OK..fine. after that you kept repeating why dun we shop later in the week..on a week days coz, you are too tired to leave the hse on a Sunday afternoon.
Well, for me..I always want to get my things DONE before hand & this is the last weekend to your sis wedding...and we are having a busy week ahead..dinner appt tomorrow, doing your hair on tues..blah blah blah... BUT, well its not me going to the wedding..not me who need to shop. 皇帝不及﹐ 太監及。。。 why should I??
I wanted to go shopping with you, you get yr shoes...spend more time shopping with you on a sunday rather than rushing everywhere on weekdays. Well, why should I be soo gan cheong..if you dun even bother?

At 3.30pm you dozed off.

The Sun is shinning really good...4pm I started the washing machine ..

Its ANOTHER boring Sunday...

the moment..

Actually I'm really very very Very happy today. Received a sms from TM in the afternoon. She said that she had made plans for dinner & she wants to date me. I looking very much to it. She booked a room for K-buffet at K Box. We had fun singing ....and had a fun dinner with lots of sashim, ice cream...sushi, tim sum blah blah...blah

9.30pm we made our way home ...taking train and having fun chatting.

The moment we reached home. You said you are tired and sat there on the sofa reading papers & letters. After that you took a nap & again doze off. I waked you up to shower. After a shower then u can sleep all u like...isn't it better & more comfortable? I really don't understand WHY???
Then u slammed the bathroom door & ....slience.....

Why?? Wat happened again? What happened to us? Whenever we are alone at home...we sure to start a fight. Why?

Perhaps..it's time I should really move out.

我们的二十九

People says that nine is a good no... 長長九九.

Yes, October 2nd is our 29th month.

How time flies.

homeless

Whenever your dad or sisters call you, my heart jumped. Well, again... today yr sis called you. Infront of Su, You said that your sister is coming over for 4 days next week. I got the hint. Now I must make plans for myself, shift back home & plans my stories all over again....You always said that I doesn't treat this place as my home. Well, how to treat this place as my home if I need to shift around like an unwanted rat. I know what I should do. I know where I stand.

Abt 10 years ago..in my first job. I clashed with my assistant manager on some disagreements in work. I hate the sight of him. He is an impossible, horrible guy. Everyone in my office knew that I hated him. And of coz, he doesn't like me either.
One day, my site manager came to me...He told me: you are still young & green. You still have 2 years contract with us. Why make yourself so unhappy?? No matter what, you must always remember "Where you Stand??" He is Asst manager. What would you gain in going against him??

Till today, these words still kept in my mind. Whenever im unhappy at work. Whenever I had disagreement with my bosses, I told myself...always REMEMBER where you stand.

The missing piece...

Had dinner with mum. Reached home at abt 9.30pm. You are not back yet. I had my shower & made myself a cup of Flower Tea. You came home at around 10pm. You made yourself a bowl of noodles. I asked if you want to watch dvd with me..you said NO.. you are not in the mood. Well, when will you have to mood to watch the stuffs I like?? I expected that answer..but somehow, I still feel upset. As usual you stay in the Hall watching TV, had yr mee & read newspaper. Me, in the room watch my TV & surf net.

After a while, I went out to give u a hug. Well, yah....you came into the room "still with a black face.." lay on the bed & well....expected you doze off. Sometimes, I felt that I'm so foolish.

Yes, that's our life. Do you feel bored? Yes I do. Something is missing..we are still together because of?? Love?? Because we are too used to each other... well, perhaps. Love is just like a puzzle. If there's a missing piece, that's it..... It will never be complete.

Sometimes stopping is the most important part of the journey...

Searching.....

Had a terrible day...

I'm really very happy that you are on leave today..but my happiness dies off right after our breakfast. You went in to the room and start working on yr PC...and u actually blame me for surfing in the hall instead of spending time surfing in the room with you.

So what if i'm in the room? Looking at you smashing the mouse & banging the desk...you think I dare to go near you?

Its hurts, when you said that you will not apply leave to accompany me in future anymore.

Yes, I know you tried to make me happy by bringing me to eat good food & bringing me for movie....but, do you know what really matters to me??

I really missed the days ..we used to spent time at home watching TV together, going for travel fair, Zoo..or anywhere...really spending time together WITHOUT the PC or laptop around.

Something is missing in our r/s...

You asked me what am I searching for..????

I'm searching for the missing piece....happiness...

忽冷忽熱的對待
眼看愛(就像牛奶)　在變酸　慢慢變壞
難道你不明白　有一些傷害　會看不出來

多謝關心

Thanks for your concern my dear friend.

No matter what, I still have to go thru it myself. No matter how much she care, how much she dotes on me.... I still have to stand up & walk on myself.

helpless

Had been feeling very down lately... very helpless...

Last friday, I was really very unhappy. At that moment I realised that I'm all alone & have no one to speak to.... Had a rather unhappy weekend. A stressful Saturday and a restless Sunday. I felt that my life is in a total mess.

Spoke to AH Fi this morning. At my tone of voice, she can feel that something is wrong with me. We had a good talk.

thanks for your time my great frd. Thank you.

Forever

I never believe in Forever Loving someone. Do you???

容祖兒 牛奶

牛奶

餐桌有點歪　玻璃杯倒了下來
一行像眼淚的牛奶
大門已被甩開　說出了的再收不回來
補回來　裂痕還在

真不想被說中　沒有一對會不同
面貼面擁抱也會心虛得發痛
愛冷了　要怎樣解凍

如果還不夠愛　怎會被傷害
忽冷忽熱的對待
眼看愛(就像牛奶)　在變酸　慢慢變壞
難道你不明白　有一些傷害　會看不出來
記得你的好　孤獨反而實在
變味的愛　沒辦法再掩蓋

越是得不到的一份愛
越難說服我自己放開　捨不得愛現在
我應該　怎麼樣向自己　來交代　這種失敗

怎麼忍受這腐壞　變味的愛

Our 27th...

Today is 2nd August.. our 27 months.

Met up for dinner at Rice Table.. bought a pair of Liverpool pants as present...well, from the moment we met..you told me you are very tired.

We had dinner, went to change your pants (you looks like you dun really like the pants)& went Kovan for Beancurd.

We came home at around 9.30pm...I went to shower..& when I came out!!! you are asleep on the bed...its 9.55pm. I dragged you out of bed to shower...but you screamed at me. I left u alone..to sleep...while I surf & watch TV..myself.

At last 11.50pm..I managed to drag you up to shower.. I thought you will be more awake after the bath. After your shower....I happily ran in to the room............You are asleep again.

I looked at you... asking myself, how many words we spoke to each other since we came home?? Do you know that I have alot of things to tell you. Sometimes.. you just want to tell that person something at that moment... when tomorrow comes.. I might not feel like talking about it anymore. Thats why we have so much communication problems... When we are at home, its either you working on the PC...or watching TV your sports channels.. or asleep.

We bought the 2 beancurd...what you want me to do with it?? Tomorrow movie tickets.. you havent even book..& you told the whole world that you will book it.??? Sometimes I think I communicate with a frd even more than you.

Sian

Very sian... VeryVery Very Sian....

ONly me

Sometimes I wonder..what gone wrong?? Do u really hate me so much?

Do u hate my face?? What have I done?? We are suppose to be looking forward to tomorrow's short trip...but, u just puLL a long face at me.. and yes.. ONLY me. When u see others later... u will Beam from Ear to ear...What's wrong with me?

What's wrong?? Only Me will see this side of you.

Yes.. ONLY me.

Happy Birthday Tami...

Its Tami's 36th birthday. After months of plannings, arguements and discussions, now is over....& can close the curtains liao. I don't know if Tami enjoyed herself?? I don't know if she really likes the presents I gave her.

Perhaps you may think, wHy must so stress?? Birthday only mah? Well, Firstly.. I'm very easily stress that kind...& Tami have been giving me presents all year round so..I wans to make her happy on her birthday.

THanks Tami for making everyday like my bday....and Happy Birthday Tami.

小小

作曲：周傑倫
作詞：方文山
編曲：林邁可
監制：Michael Lin

＃回憶像個說書的人
用充滿鄉音的口吻
跳過水坑 繞過小村
等相遇的緣分
你用泥巴捏一座城
說将來要娶我進門
轉多少身 過幾次門 虛擲青春＃

小小的誓言還不穩
小小的淚水還在撐
稚嫩的唇　在說離分

＊我的心裏從此住了一個人
曾經模樣小小的我們
那年你搬小小的板凳
爲戲入迷我也一路跟

我在找那個故事裏的人
你是不能缺少的部份
你在樹下小小的打盹
小小的我傻傻等＊

重複　＃

小小的感動雨紛紛
小小的别扭惹人疼
小小的人還不會吻

重複　＊

我的心裏從此住了一個人
曾經模樣小小的我們
當初學人說愛念劇本
缺牙的你發音卻不準

我在找那個故事裏的人
你是不能缺少的部份
小小的手牽小小的人
守著小小的永恒

Happy Birthday dear classmate..

Its my classmate birthday. Wishing you all the best, in your work and relationship. Stay Happy & pretty always.

2nd Year Anniversary...

Its our 2nd Year. May 2nd is our big big day. We had late dinner at sushi Tei. Tami says that we have to have dinner at that sushi Tei every year coz, thats where we started 2 years ago.... Tami bought me a Bag, a Watch and a Cap fm genting.. heeehehhee

I bought her a Photo Wallet and a adidas Lanyard ..Hope she like it..