Long long nite

Just came home... had a rather long tiring nite. We are supposed to go for a shopping spree at IMM Daiso today...but, during dinner time..We had an argument. It’s not really very very serious in the beginning....I just asked her when is she going to extend her passport..coz, I dun wish to waste her 5 days of leaves without planning. Never expect that this little dinner tok will turn into a horrible fight. It started not becoz, she dun want to extend her passport or anything like that...it all started becoz, of a FACE. A face or gesture that pissed me off. Most important thing is after she knows im unhappy, she still remain silence....this is something I cant stand...SILENCE.. I made a move by buying her a can of green tea & a milk tea for myself...but, after that still silence.. I walked off to Daiso myself after drinking my tea...& she follows....SILENCE...still SILENCE... The more I start to boil... I cannot stand Silence like that. I said: "You Hate Me"...doesn’t really mean ..that I felt that you hate me. I just want you to know that your face really shows that you hate me. I said we are not going to make it....its becoz, I want you to do something..not to create more silence & cool expressions of yours.

At Long John Silver. It’s sweet of you to get me a drink & snacks to eat ..coz, u remember I did not really eat during dinner time. Soon, everything turn sour again...coz, I realized that you dont know me well enough. Its not the first time we had fights like that....I told you before I cannot stand silence during an argument. I cant believe my ears when you answer back: " How you know that things will be better...when I tok??" & " I duno wat will I say when Im angry...I can say even more cutting words that might hurt you more."
At that moment...I really can stand it anymore....coz, I know...if I dun walk off, I will create a scene at Long John....

I ran & walk & ran aimlessly...not knowing where & wat to do...tears started flowing like anything..I nearly wanted to smash the phone on the floor. I cant believe that someone whom loves me sooo much can hurt me like that. Especially, when I think of how I spent sleepless nite making the puzzle...& planning her bday...hurts me even more...I kick a stone(luckily Im not wearing my new shoe today)...which hurts my little toe too....at that moment, I just want to hit myself hard. I think alot of pp must be wondering...wat happened to this mad women....crying so loudly & hitting her head with her phone like that.

After some hunting game...we met. I hugged her. I know, I still love her alot...alot. If I dont, I wouldn’t be so hurt & react this way. She brought me home...but, I can’t stay overnite...coz, I spent too many nite away from home lately.. 12.30am, I had to take a cab home. I felt very very bad...kept spending her $$...but, Im really rather broke..soon. I cant go on like that...I have to start selling my stuffs to get $$...I cant possible ask her to pay for all my stuffs....although, she is paying most of it now...haiz....Im really useless.

Is it because of my thyroid that coz, me to behave like this?? Or is it becoz, Im jobless...or becoz, of wat that made me soo emotional?